According to Chap Clark, the author of Next Time I Fall in Love, the degree of commitment a person has to something is based on five things: emotional, physical, social, intellectual, and spiritual. In terms of relationships, Emotional is how the person makes you feel. Physical is how attracted you are to the person. Social is how well you get along. Intellectual is how much you can stimulate each other in conversation and thinking. Spiritual is how much you share in terms of what you believe about God, human nature, the soul, evil, etc. The more you find agreement on these five things, the higher the degree of commitment.
Thinking about past relationships, how high was each of these five things for you? Thinking about future relationships, are these equal in importance to you or are there any you would rate less important than others and why?
When I was in college, I took a courtship and dating class as part of a sociology credit. The one thing I remember my professor saying was, “Birds of a feather flock together is a much better way to characterize a relationship that will last. Opposites attract is exciting at first, but once that excitement wears off, you realize you have nothing in common.” What do you think?
God created us to be in relationship with God and others as whole people. I Thessalonians 5:23 says, “May the God of peace who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole in spirit, soul, and body, keeping you fit until Jesus returns.” I think wholeness involves all five of the things above - emotional, physical, intellectual, social, and spiritual. If one of the areas suffers, this will always be a weak place in the relationship. As far as our couple in the Chainsmokers song goes, there was probably a reason they split up the first time. But, I confess, I still love the song!
Let me know what you think….